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Is there still a chance?

小时候了了
小时候了了

1 day ago

Context: How to chat with the opposite sex without being awkward - #96, from WilliamLi

Yesterday she messaged me saying she gets out of class at 4:30 and asked if I wanted to meet up somewhere now.

I said I don't have class and I'm fine with whatever works for her, and we could grab dinner while we're at it, so we agreed to meet at the school gate at 5:30. She was a bit busy and we ended up meeting at 6.

After we met, she asked if there was anything I wanted to eat. I said I'm fine with anything, so she took me to a place for braised pork rice. Since small shops in Taiwan generally don't take credit cards, and I'd spent all my cash earlier playing arcade games, I told her I didn't have cash and might need to hit an ATM. She said no problem, she could cover me first. So we went to eat. While waiting for the food, we chatted a bit. I asked if she'd invited any other friends along, and she said they were all busy with midterms. Then the food came. She ordered fried rice, took a couple of bites, told me it was pretty good, and asked if I wanted to try some. I said no thanks (the group says this was a red flag moment—I should've taken her up on it). After eating, we went to the event.

The Halloween event was pretty standard icebreaker stuff, with random groups of four, but as it happened we got put in the same group. Right when we arrived, she said her phone was almost dead and asked where she could charge it, so I pulled out my power bank and gave it to her. I'll skip the event details (not much to them).

After the event they handed out snacks. I took one, and she gave me back my power bank. I noticed that when she returned it, she accidentally gave me her cable too, so I took it off and gave it back to her (the group says I should've pretended not to notice and used returning it as an excuse to meet up again). Then we walked to the subway station together. At the station I asked her to wait a moment while I went to an ATM to withdraw cash. Then I paid her back for the meal. While I was juggling the snack, wallet, and backpack, she asked if she should hold my snack for me. While I was putting things in my bag, she joked, "Can I just eat your snack?" After I finished packing, I took the snack back, and she asked again: "Hey, you really won't let me have any?" (The group says I stepped on a landmine here—I should've given it to her, or split it in half.)

Then we took the subway. Because we had to transfer, we got off midway. But she didn't make the transfer train. So I chatted with her a bit more. Then she asked if I'd met any new friends, and mentioned that the other two people from our group had nothing planned on October 31st (I don't know what that meant—the group says she was hinting to ask if I was free, but I didn't catch it). She also said that even though she was using the power bank, her phone battery still wasn't great (the group thinks she wanted me to walk her home, but I think that's overreading it).

I don't know when would be a good time to ask her out next, or whether there'll even be a next time.

Is there still a chance?

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周际捣蛋
周际捣蛋1 day ago

I feel like you're dragging out the pace of the date a bit too long—next time, you could be a little more decisive.

美分杀手
美分杀手13 hours ago

I think the key isn't those red flags—it's that she took the initiative to ask if you wanted something to eat, or if you needed help carrying things. Those are all signals she's putting out goodwill. If you keep turning her down, it's hard for the conversation to stay warm.

叮当张
叮当张3 hours ago

If you want to set up another meetup, I'd suggest using the charger cable return or treating her to braised pork rice as an excuse to bring up a specific plan again in two or three days—don't just ask "are you free." But only if she's really busy with midterms this week; in that case, don't push too hard just yet.