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28 years old in the US, my dad showed up and hit me — can I call the police?

蕾妈
蕾妈

1 day ago

My dad showed up at my house without telling me, we got into an argument over a few things, and then he hit me — full-force punches, hit my back about 20 times. It was all on video, and the area where I was hit has obvious red marks.

I was so scared that I left the house with my partner and went to stay at a hotel. I bought my dad a plane ticket to get him to leave ASAP. He agreed to leave on Friday, but then dragged it out until Sunday.

I want to call the police to have him removed, but I don't want him to go to jail. What should I do?

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莞尔觅流年
莞尔觅流年1 day ago

Before you record anything, you need to be clear about what you want to achieve. If your goal is just to have the police take him away without giving him a criminal record, then once you hand over the footage, the outcome is no longer fully in your hands. When police see clear injuries and video evidence, in many places the "settle it privately" route isn't available. So back up whatever you've recorded first, but before you call the police, it's best to ask your local police department about how they typically handle domestic violence cases—whether detention is mandatory or whether they can simply file a report.

天河邵明辉
天河邵明辉1 day ago

First, take photos of the video footage and the red mark and save them to the cloud, then check whether you can apply for a no-contact order only after filing a police report locally.

yuweinan
yuweinan1 day ago

You said you don't want him to go to prison—so after you call the police, what exactly do you want them to do? Just have him removed, or leave a record? In your local process, those two are quite different.

大王派你去爬山
大王派你去爬山1 day ago

More than twenty heavy punches to the back, visible red marks, and the whole thing on video—this is beyond an ordinary shove, so don't skip getting a medical examination. A lot of people assume it doesn't count if there's no blood, but a documented diagnosis of soft tissue contusion is exactly the strongest piece of evidence you'll have later when applying for a protective order or communicating with the police. Also, he was the one refusing to leave the ticket issue aside—whether you bought a ticket or not is a separate matter, so don't let the two get tangled up in your mind.

大小姊
大小姊1 day ago

Not wanting him to go to prison and wanting him gone are actually very hard to achieve at the same time.

文弱书生
文弱书生17 hours ago

A few things I'd like to confirm: Is the place rented or owned by you, and does he have any other place to stay around here? This directly affects whether the police will treat it as trespassing after you report it, or can only handle it as a family dispute mediation. Also, he's staying until Sunday—is he planning to leave on his own, or has he not decided on a return date at all? It's best to clarify this timing before calling the police; otherwise, once he's taken away, the accommodation and flight arrangements afterward will actually become more troublesome.

吾日三省吾身
吾日三省吾身15 hours ago

A safer sequence is to first notify him in writing of the deadline to leave and keep evidence—for example, a text or email clearly stating he must move out by a certain date. If he still doesn't leave by then, call the police and explain that he is unlawfully remaining on the premises, while making clear that you only want him removed and do not want to pursue criminal charges. Be aware, though, that many states have mandatory-arrest laws for domestic violence, so the police may not do only a removal as you wish. Also, going through this whole process will take at least several extra days, so you should factor the hotel and ticket-change costs into your budget in advance.